Perhaps there’s no better time for a sacrilege than Halloween.

As the end of this month was drawing nigh and I was finally finding some time to work on this month’s song, I decided to do something in the frightful orange spirit of this holiday. I’ve been catching up on the first season of True Blood (having abandoned it last year as too not for me after watching the first episode…vampires don’t socialize with humans, after all), and I’m enjoying it now. I somehow got sucked in – if you’ll allow me to stick my neck out and say that – for the second season and so had to go back and find out the things I’d missed. Netflix to the rescue.

Well, two days ago I was driving around listening to the Velvet Underground’s Loaded, and an idea hit me. I hit it back, because there was no way I was going to take one of Lou’s songs and bastardize it into a tune about a TV vampire. I’m not Weird Al Yankovic you know. For better or worse, I’m not Joe Louis either so I succumbed to the idea’s punches and have carved out this hopefully enjoyable quick, rough and nasty for you. Happy Halloween!

Here’s the original for you:

LONESOME VAMPIRE BILL

Lonesome Vampire Bill cries the blood red tears
Lonesome Vampire Bill, you’ve got to see him
Face your darkest fears

Lonesome Vampire Bill cries the tears so red
Ever since the Rebels fell, cries the tears so red
Drinkin’ True yeah, suckin’ Sook
You gotta see him go
And all those fang-bangin’ girls
Well they just don’t know

Lonesome Vampire Bill cries the blood red tears
Lonesome Vampire Bill, you’ve got to see him
Face your darkest fears

Oh, Lonesome Vampire Bill still cries the tears so red
Up around Merlotte’s Bar she can’t see inside his head
Sometimes even Shreveport, down by Fangtasia
And all those fang-bangin’ girls
Oh well they still just don’t know

Lonesome Vampire Bill cries the blood red tears
Lonesome Vampire Bill, you’ve got to see him
Face your darkest fears

You’ve got to see him when he looks at her
In the evening and she’s in distress
You got to see all the people scream and shout
They call him
Lonesome Vampire Bill
Lonesome Vampire Bill
He goes, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgh!”

Lonesome Vampire Bill cries the blood red tears
Lonesome Vampire Bill, you’ve got to see him
Face your darkest fears

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